Ch. 10
Being the Board.
Actually this makes me think about a recent relationship that I’m trying to get back. I allowed for the relationship to fall apart. In fact, I was fully to blame for ending the relationship. Now it’s my turn to make a difference in her life. Andy Andrews has an audio CD out that I put on my iPod a few years back. It’s roughly 28 minutes long and discusses with great substance while being brief dealing with how to improve one’s life. It mentions that the sole person is always in control and when one accepts full blame and responsibility he/she may start to fully live.
In this chapter the Zandlers mention that Love is not about self-determination nor is it about sacrifice. It is a context in which 2 people build the life they want together. To be honest, this assignment was probably the last thing on my mind. I’m thankful for having this as it is helping me to reflect more about how to be the board in the current relationship or shall I say non-relationship that we have taking place right now.
In Chapter 11, they discuss creating a framework and having a vision can be more effective than having a mission statement. Similar to the child with leukemia, I want to shave my head (so to speak) in the hopes that she feels comfortable around me and that my intentions are as she wishes which are baby steps.
I currently have the possibility to get her back, moreover I have the possibility to show her that I will love her unconditionally. A vision that I have is to be the most important person in her life. Goals could be to take a walk once a week simply to catch up on life. I’d like to be there simply to listen, support and provide as much clarity as possible. Being that she wants to be friends and not sure if we could ever get back to where we once were, another goal in support of this vision is to not officially ask her out on a date, just the two of us, minus the simple strolls to catch up. A goal is to set up the framework of being allowed to prove myself to her. As of right now, I’m not allowed and although difficult, I honor and respect her decision.
In regards Ch. 12
I demonstrate the WE practice.
I tell the WE story about US and talk about our possibility. Also, I ask what do WE want to have happen here? Whats best for US? What’s our next step?
Some questions that I will ask US are:
- · What could WE do to clear barriers between us?
- · You stated that I seemed frightened off and had a lot going on. Despite any/all excuses, How do WE feel about us having talked today?
- · How do you feel about my feelings towards US?
- · How do you feel about US?
- · Can WE set aside time to talk about our feelings again?
- · What are OUR next wishes for each other the next time we meet?
- · How can WE best build a relationship?
- · What vision do WE have as far as approaching each other while hanging out with friends?
This post will be about the Steve Jobs speech on youtube. It kind of led me to where I am today. When entering high school, we were asked to state whether Spanish or French would be our first choice in a foreign language. My choice was Spanish. I went to a fairly large school with a class over 700 students. We were the smallest class when I was a senior. My younger cousin who was a freshman had a class very close to 900 students. Not everybody was granted their choice; therefore, I considered myself lucky. Freshman year Spanish was not fun although it came quite naturally to me. At the end of the year I asked if I could move up from track 2 to track 1. Initially my teacher said Yes. Then the day I was in the office getting paper work signed, he just had happened to be down there and totally denied ever saying yes to me previously. Spanish my sophomore year was much better. The environment was one of acceptance whereby my teacher demonstrated her love for her job and the students reciprocated. I had so much fun and learned so much that I chose to continue with Spanish all 4 years. Senior year, Sra. had to take a leave of absence as she went on maternity leave for the remainder of the year. We had different substitutes with the same assignment for what honestly could have been 3 weeks straight. Finally the class rebelled. They had hired a permanent substitute. She was young, attractive, and had recently graduated from college. She turned me off of Spanish as she tested on every possible tense and quickly taught (or tried to teach) a mountain of information. The class had received their first test results from her with 20s, 30s, 40s, and a few 50s. Not one of us passed and she wasn't planning to curve it. Rather she said we'll have another test on this in two days. Let's start reviewing! The class results bumped up very slightly still with multiple failures. At this point, I said that's it! I'm done with Spanish. I had not planned on taking it in college and had enough classes to receive college credit. Thankfully my advisor at college sat me down and said look at your grades throughout four years of taking Spanish. Why don't you at least think about taking a class? He then went to check on something. He came back with a smile on his face and said that if I were to try an advanced Spanish class, I could receive double the credits without having to putting extra time in for the lower class and I wouldn't have to buy the books since I'd be testing out of it. I did just that. I'm here today teaching Spanish because the guidance counselor pushed me in that direction. I would never have thought I would teach Spanish, but now I can go back and be thankful for connecting all of the dots.
Comment Post @ Rebecca Day
@ Rebecca Day
Nice post Rebecca. I too have asked myself similar questions. This program has been very difficult for me since I coach 3 sports throughout the school year. I did not have a life and can’t wait to get it back, but I’m awfully glad I did it. My vision is to enhance student’s retention of material. I want to make it fun, but more importantly I want to make it real, rather than simply teach a subject.
I look forward to slowing down in life or better yet, doing what I love. I’d love to make the Spanish program more effective within our district. While I love coaching basketball and like coaching tennis, I commute an hour each to work so this makes it difficult. Another vision that I have is to take control of my life, rather than say yes to everything for the almighty buck.
http://rd3683.blogspot.com/2010/06/wk-4-reading-vision.html?showComment=1277750411059_AIe9_BELVTZDIecMjnP2R9QzYfw7Yi7vQidsJCgJPWAYgh0GzRIUolbtr01EKO10O-rWC-S8mQCHULRKNWLsNkLvMn6XkK0-g2_howpHzayRN12UUu_mBJja2LjoLFpXalsclN-yGyv89w_1HMJFFvhpYUcgxY7I_JrGHaPNotOVqa5TgWVLrsx-UBckLvzsgPLcXDU68y3TN3YXI25p5kaiyhysEoYo-qVNZykQHY6lIvfKYy5JH8c#c8908050032594044128
Comment Post @ Lynne Koles
I truly enjoyed reading this book much like yourself and wish others success with it in the future. You point out the WE factor. Considering others as equal or greater than ourselves can sometimes make them feel more comfortable. I think in anything life, we should strive for a healthy balance, but I do believe that when one takes off the higher positioned hats so to speak, it welcomes an incredible environment for possibility.
Zander discusses the need for possibility thinking throughout this book, and these concluding chapters have pounded home a very significant change in thinking to make this happen. Imagining the world as a collective of equals in order to consider all of us as the WE, gives new meaning to possibilities. From the training I received in sales, "make them want what you have," is the antithesis of being about what is best for the collective "We." Yet in education, autonomous authoritarian models of teaching have given way to empowering, guiding, facilitators. This paradigm shift fits perfectly with Zander's point that we must consider the others within our realm as equal and even greater than ourselves. this book should be required reading for all who strive to teach our next generation, because it is what dries them to excellence, to be valued and encouraged to participate in directing and creating their learning.
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